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Sea Burial

10 Myths About Death & Funerals Part 2

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6. It is completely legal for anyone to keep a body at home after death

This is TRUE. It’s clearly not for everyone and, in some circumstances may not be possible but, certainly for a short amount of time there may be many benefits that can really help some with the acceptance and grieving process.  It may be just that you want to keep them at home for a short time to wash and dress them before you hand them over to the care of a funeral director.

You could also look at speaking with a soul midwife or death doula to find out what would be involved in keeping your loved one at home for more than 1-2 days. There are none in the Pembrokeshire area, but you may find some useful help here.

7. You don’t have to use a coffin

This is TRUE. You can use a shroud. In fact the Muslim community virtually always use shrouds and not coffins. If you’re going to be cremated you will also need a shroud board for the shrouded dead person to lie on as when they are ‘charged’ into the cremator. So, you need something with a solid base for the charger to push against.

8. You have to pay a fee to transport a body across a county line

This is FALSE. This used to be the case, and it is a myth that some older people still believe, but it’s now completely untrue. Obviously, if you’re using an funeral director, or driving your own car, there will be a bigger cost the further you travel because of the bigger mileage but not because you have to pay to cross into another county.

9. You pay a double/triple fee to bury someone if the cemetery is not in the area they live in

This is TRUE. This is due to lack of space and councils wishing to discourage burial. You can get round this as it can be based on where the person who died lived, or it can be based on whoever is signing the papers for the burial’s place of residence.

10. There are five places in the UK where you can be legally buried at sea

This is TRUE. Three in England – off the Isle of Wight, off Tynemouth, and in between Hastings and Newhaven. Two in Scotland – off Oban and John O’ Groats.

Anyone can be buried at sea, although it’s more complicated and more expensive than being buried on dry land. The navy carries out its own burials at sea for veterans who wish it. The person who is buried at sea must have an id tag attached to them, in case they drift. A special coffin is required for burial at sea – solid softwood, no plastic, lead, copper or zinc. There should be 200kg of weight attached to the bottom and holes drilled throughout to ensure it sinks. Francis Drake wore a suit of armour to be lowered into the sea in 1596, off the coast of Panama (he was dead, obviously!). If all this sounds a bit much, get cremated and have your ashes scattered at sea instead – no licence required just be mindful of the wind direction!

Read more – 10 Myths About Death & Funerals Part 1 

Ashes

10 Myths About Death & Funerals Part 1

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  1. It is illegal to transport a dead body unless you are a medical or funeral professional.

This is FALSE. Anyone can transport a dead body although it is advisable to have the death certificate on you just in case you are stopped by the police. There are many families that chose to do this and as long as you are not causing a public offence and do it with discretion there is nothing illegal about it at all. I know of families that have transported their loved one in land rovers, Volvos, on the back of lorries or tractors.

The only caveat to this is if you’re crossing the Scottish border, in which case you’ll need to let the coroner or Procurator Fiscal know, first.

2. Bodies must be embalmed if viewing is requested

This is FALSE. There is no legal requirement to embalm a body unless it is being transported abroad – eg repatriated: moved from one country to another for cremation or burial. Embalming is very invasive and rarely needed. Some might even argue that it is counter-intuitive to make the dead person look more ‘alive’.I  recommend you advise everyone to check what is actually involved with the embalming process before they decide if it’s something they would want to agree to. There is a lot more information on the embalming process in this link.

3. You do not have to employ a funeral director to organise a funeral

This is TRUE. There is no legal requirement to use a funeral director to organise a funeral. Everything they do you can do yourself – from transporting a body, caring for a body, storing a body, booking the cremation/burial etc you are allowed to do all of this yourself. The reason funeral directors exist is because people don’t necessarily want to do all, or any, of this themselves. There is a growing number of families who are taking more ownership and responsibility for their loved one and sometimes only use the funeral directors for storing the body whilst they are making arrangements for the funeral. Working with a celebrant can really help families understand what their options are and what they are and are not comfortable with.

4. The crematoria re-use coffins

This is FALSE – A common belief held by many people is that the coffin is just a shell, that’s lifted off before cremation and used again. That it can be ‘sold’ several times over. This is completely false. You are not even allowed to open the lid of a coffin once it’s at the crematorium.

5. You can’t be sure that you’re only getting your loved-one’s ashes/cremated remains back

This is FALSE. You can be absolutely sure. There is a really careful process where a card with the name and date of death of the person who’s died follows the person through each stage of the cremation process so that there is no doubt at the end of the process that you are getting that person and only that person’s cremated remains. Again, this is a common assumption. All the stages of the cremation process are outlined half way down this page.

Read more – 10 Myths About Death & Funerals Part 2 

How To Get Legally Married

How to get legally married in two easy steps for £127!

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So, you’ve decided to have a Celebrant-led wedding – of course you have as they’re soooo much better as you get to have your day when you want, where you want and in the way you want. But you’re a bit boggled by the legal bits. Honestly, it’s dead easy. Here’s what you need to know. 

This basic legal marriage service is called a ‘Statutory Declaration‘. It is you, your partner and two witnesses of your choosing (although some counties allow four) in an office with two Registrars. 

You do not have to have a ‘ceremony’ in a ceremony room. You can just do the bare-minimum vows and paperwork so that you’re legally married. You do not even have to exchange rings if you want to save that for your big do – although, if you want to, you can. 

At the time of writing, a Statutory Declaration costs just £46!!

This service exists in EVERY county in England and Wales, although, sometimes, only in one office per county eg Pembrokeshire and Cerdigion only have one, Carmathenshire has two. The links to them are below:

Pembrokeshire Registry Office

Carmarthenshire Registry Office

Ceredigion Registry Office

You DO NOT have to go to your local office for this, you can go anywhere you choose in the country. So if you fancy a trip to Snowdonia to legally tie the knot – go for it – just make sure you’ve booked!

You can book this service up to a year in advance and we recommend booking early as the slots do tend to get snapped up.

When you book your Statutory Declaration you will be advised that you need to give Notice to Marry. This is where you bring in ID to show you are who you say you are, if you’ve been married before, proof that you are no longer married etc. You can give Notice to Marry up to a year in advance of your legal marriage date and no later than a month before (although we wouldn’t recommend leaving it until the last minute). This HAS TO BE at the register office that is nearest to you. The fee for this, currently, is £35 per person – so £70 per couple.

Giving Notice to Marry is ‘Venue Specific’ so wherever you are doing your legal marriage is where you are ‘Giving Notice to Marry’.

The only other cost you will incur through the registration service is for copies of your marriage certificate. They are £11 per certificate on the day. They do go up in price immediately afterwards so maybe think about getting a few copies on the day.

If you want to have more than two ‘guests’ you still have the option of choosing a ceremony-room ceremony, which will be more… well… ceremonial! This will, of course, be reflected in the cost. All different counties charge differing amounts for their different ceremony rooms, so you would need to enquire at the specific place you had in mind.

The cheapest way you can legally register your union costs just £127 (accurate at the time of writing).

A document that outlines this whole process can be found here:

Why not find out more about the benefits of having a Celebrant-led wedding in the blog below: 

Celebrant-led Funerals

Why have a Celebrant-led funeral?

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One of the biggest benefits of a celebrant-led funeral is their openness and inclusivity. They allow to you to have a ceremony that is a true reflection of your loved one, a bespoke ceremony that completely encapsulates their love, style, personality and interests. Anything is possible. It can have the content you want – which may be religious, humanist, secular or on a specific theme.

Celebrants are trained and experienced in creating and officiating personalised ceremonies.  We spend the time getting to know you, your family and the person who has passed away. We can share with you options for your funeral, and these aren’t always what you think!

So often families get channeled into the ’20 minutes at the crematorium’, or the ’20 minutes at the graveside’ formula. Now, for many families, this is right for them, but for an increasing number of families, there are so many other ways of saying goodbye to your loved one. You have far more options than you probably realise.

There is a growing funeral revolution.

Imagine having a ceremony in a woodland, a hotel, the beach, the gold club, pub, your own home? A ceremony that is not restricted by time constraints. A ceremony where the people present aren’t shuffling around, waiting to be ushered in, ushered out, everyone feeling the need to be solemn, quiet, mournful. A ceremony where your loved one can be present, there with you all. A ceremony in a place that feels right for you, them and your family. A ceremony that just flows and is all about the beautiful, meaningful life they had and shared with you all. A ceremony that truly represents their love, style, personality and interests.

I specilise in creating and officiating very unique, bespoke funerals. There are so many things that are possible. I will be blogging lots more on this topic, so do keep an eye! Please do contact me to find out more about the options and choices you have. You would be amazed at how much ownership you can take and how easy it is to move away from the more traditional idea of a funeral, to something that is indeed special, unique and totally fitting for the person you have lost.

LINK TO 10 MYTHS ABOUT DEATH – PART 1

LINK TO 10 MYTHS ABOUT DEATH – PART 2

Wedding Celebrant for all occasions

Why have a Celebrant-led wedding?

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Have you always wanted to get married or renew your vows under the stars, on a beach, among beautiful gardens, beside castle ruins or at your own home? Then an Independent Civil Celebrant is the choice for you.

Religious and civil ceremonies (Registrar led) can feel very limiting for some couples, which is why they turn to a celebrant-led ceremony that is personal, flexible and as formal or informal as you’d like.

With no templates, or ‘tick-boxes’ to follow you have complete creative freedom to have your day where you want, when you want and in the way you want.

Couples can be mixed faith, no faith, interfaith, spiritual, secular, humanist, same-sex, mixed-sex, traditional or modern – for a truly heartfelt ceremony, all you need is love.

You have absolute creative freedom. Your ceremony is written with you and only you in mind. I will take the time to get to know you and help and guide you to craft a celebration which does your love justice.

Currently, Celebrant-led ceremonies are not legally binding in the UK, although there are many people campaigning for them to become so and the leglisation is being reviewed. But don’t let this put you off! There is a really simple and cheap way of having the ‘legal bit done’ then having the ceremony you want – where you want, when you want and in the way you want.

Have a look at the blog on ‘How to get legally married in two easy steps for £127!’ (LINK TO THIS BLOG) or download ‘How To Legally Register Your Union’ to find out more about just how easy this is.

Many couples chose to ‘get the legal bit done’ just before their Celebrant-led wedding and keep it really quiet, low-key and quick and easy. After all, it literally is just a piece of paper! They are then free to have the ceremony they want with their family and friends, with no time restraints, or restrictions on what can be said and what can’t be said, as if often the case with Registrar-led weddings.

There are so many wonderful and unique ways you can celebrate your union. For some great ideas, take a look at the document on Couples Ceremony Ideas (LINK TO THE PDF).

Using a Celebrant means you have so much flexibility, freedom and choice. Please do contact me if you want to talk through some ideas, get some inspiration or find out more about how I work.